Avoid Love to Avoid Retroactive Jealousy? My Thoughts [VIDEO]
Update: 2025-09-16
Description
In today’s video, I discuss what it means to avoid love to avoid retroactive jealousy—and whether that mindset truly helps you heal
Read or watch below to learn strategies for navigating the mindset of trying to avoid love to avoid retroactive jealousy.
Zachary Stockill: If you’re a man dealing with retroactive jealousy, and you’ve faced it in more than one relationship, it can be tempting to think, “You know what? I’m done with women…
“I’m done with relationships and commitment—because every time I let someone in, I end up getting hurt.”
So you might think, “I’ll just keep things casual from now on—maybe for the rest of my life.”
If that thought has ever crossed your mind and you’re struggling with retroactive jealousy, today’s video is for you.
My name is Zachary Stockill, and since 2013, I’ve helped thousands of men and women around the world overcome retroactive jealousy and save their relationships.
If you’d like to learn more about my work or work with me one-on-one, please click here.
Retroactive jealousy refers to unwanted intrusive thoughts—often obsessive curiosity or what I call “mental movies”—about your partner’s past relationships or sexual history.
Unfortunately, if you’re someone who tends to struggle with retroactive jealousy, chances are you’ll keep facing it in multiple relationships—unless you make a real commitment to overcome it for good.
The truth is, many people never reach that point. And sadly, a lot of men in particular don’t.
Sometimes, especially if they’ve been influenced by intense or extreme red pill content, they might say, “I struggle with retroactive jealousy—and it’s not my fault. It’s because of modern women.”
They start to believe that all modern women are the problem.
So they decide, “I’ll date, I’ll have fun, but I’m keeping it casual for the rest of my life.”
This was the comment I received on my YouTube channel—the one that inspired today’s video.
I’ll read it briefly: “The best thing to do is never take a woman seriously. Retroactive jealousy will not be an issue if you don’t take them seriously. Just date them and nothing more.”
Okay, so here’s my first point: if you’re truly happy and thriving in your current situation—great.
Honestly, I mean that. If what you’re doing works for you, I’m genuinely happy for you. I’ve always said I’m a libertarian at heart: you do you, I’ll do me.
As long as we’re not infringing on each other’s freedom or causing harm, that’s what matters.
My job isn’t to tear anyone down or tell you how to live your life.
If you genuinely want to keep things casual for the rest of your life and you’re truly happy with that choice, I fully support that. No judgment.
That said, the comment I just shared might’ve been from a red pill troll—because, let’s be honest, you see that mindset a lot in the red pill space.
“Modern women are all this, modern women are all that. So I’m just gonna keep things casual for the rest of my life.”
That’s the mindset some guys fall into. And again, if that lifestyle truly works for you, and you’re not hurting anyone else—I mean it—I’m happy for...
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